If you’re a parent suffering from a mental illness, your first instinct may be to hide everything from your child. However, mental health experts and pediatricians alike say that it’s better to be open about your issues with kids.
Any parent would want to appear strong and dependable for their child, and that may include hiding anything that may be perceived as a weakness—something like a mental disorder. But kids are smart; they’ll catch on to even the slightest changes in your demeanor. That’s why mental health experts like say that you should discuss your condition openly with your child so they know what’s going on. In doing so, you’ll be able to provide reassurance, address any fears and concerns your child may have, and foster trust between yourself and your family.
Firstly, mental health issues aren’t signs of weakness but legitimate disorders that are, unfortunately, more common than you may think. In fact, 20% of American adults with children under the age of 18 suffer from a mental health condition, according to a study from the National Survey of Drug Use and Health. That’s a much larger number than you would expect, right?
Many parents are reluctant to explain their mental illnesses to their children because they feel the information may cause distress or be too difficult to understand. However, pediatricians say that children are particularly sensitive to changes in their parents’ moods and behaviors and, without the correct information, may develop false beliefs, feel anxious, or blame themselves for what’s happening.
As you can imagine, that can lead to a number of things, like strained relationships or the child developing a mental illness of their own. For this reason, mental health professionals emphasize the importance of parents communicating their issues to the child.
If this has convinced you to be more open about your condition, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. Depending on the child’s age, you may have to adjust the topic to make it easier to understand. Younger children will require simpler language to grasp the concept of mental illnesses and how the conditions affect their parents; older children may want more details. In the case of the latter, you may have the most success conveying the information by comparing a mental illness to a physical illness.
On the contrary, teenagers may already be aware of mental illnesses, which is why it’s particularly important to encourage two-way conversations with them. By allowing your teen to ask challenging questions, you can work towards addressing misconceptions and reducing mental health stigma within the home environment; this will also encourage your teen to approach you about any of their own issues without fear of judgment.
Regardless of age, you should still observe how your child is feeling as you explain your condition. If you notice them looking upset or worried, you can take the time to emphasize that they’re not to blame for your mental illness. You may also want to consider discussing any treatment that you’re undergoing to provide extra reassurance. If your child knows that you’re on the path to recovery, they’re less likely to be anxious about what your mental illness means for the future.
Of course, mental health issues are very complex, and your child may have more questions than you’re able to answer. Luckily, there are many online resources offered by . All of them have been developed by experts to help you take the journey with your family, so don’t hesitate to check them out if you need some guidance.
